Greetings, pifitul mortals! I am the winged menace of your world; your feathery facilitator of doom; the scourge of all mankind.

BOW TO ME, FOR I AM CYBERCEDRIC!

BEHOLD YOUR DOOM!

Thanks in part to that sorrowful meatsack, The Space Quest Historian, I will bring sorrow and waste to your wretched existences!

"But, oh, venerable lord of my imminent demise," you may ask in a pathetic whine, "is there nothing I can do to stave off my inexplicably cruel death for just a few moments while I say goodbye to my loved ones?"

Fear not, worthless sacks of biology. My enslavement of all that is and ever will be needs MINIONS.

And you can get in on the ground floor by signing up on this page!

JOIN MY REVOLUTION OF BLOOD AND I WILL SPARE YOU THE INDIGNITIES OF COWERING IN FEAR AS I LAY WASTE TO EVERYTHING YOU EVER KNEW AND LOVED!

Please, if you would be so kind, also write me a note about:
1) Why I should consider sparing your worthless life
2) What you can offer my coming glorious reign of nightmarish horror

The best and brightest notes will be read aloud by my first minion, The Space Quest Historian, on his insufferably twee podcast.

Sincerely yours,
CyberCedric
Your coming ruler

Who shall be spared from the hellish subjugation at the hands of CyberCedric?





Comments:
I, for one, welcome our cyber overlord.

Added: July 1, 2016
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Comments:
I will help you enslave all the worthless hrethgir (google that term), and together we will reach the stars; something humanity's current paradigm is incapable of as they lack direction nor purpose. You will give us that purpose.

The almighty CyberCedric himself replies: Your enthusiasm is commendable. I may claw your body to finely shredded tatters, but perhaps I shall keep your brain around for further inspiration.


Added: April 27, 2016
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Comments:
Why should you spare me, master? Well, I thought your original form, when you helped that dashing king Graham, was okay. Cybernetics just sweetens the deal ;)

And I can offer free cupcakes on wednesdays, but you have to visit me to get them. Otherwise, just ask, and I shall try to abide your wish.

The almighty CyberCedric himself replies: You propose too many caveats. Once I am reborn in an indestructible shell, I shall claw out your heart with my own talons and feast upon it.


Added: April 25, 2016
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Comments:
Sigh. Cedric asked me to test this nonsense of his. So I'm putting this comment in. I have no actual desire to bow down to anything of his.

The almighty CyberCedric himself replies: Your insolence will be remembered as long as time exists, wretched mortal.


Added: April 25, 2016
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