Greetings, pifitul mortals! I am the winged menace of your world; your feathery facilitator of doom; the scourge of all mankind.

BOW TO ME, FOR I AM CYBERCEDRIC!

BEHOLD YOUR DOOM!

Thanks in part to that sorrowful meatsack, The Space Quest Historian, I will bring sorrow and waste to your wretched existences!

"But, oh, venerable lord of my imminent demise," you may ask in a pathetic whine, "is there nothing I can do to stave off my inexplicably cruel death for just a few moments while I say goodbye to my loved ones?"

Fear not, worthless sacks of biology. My enslavement of all that is and ever will be needs MINIONS.

And you can get in on the ground floor by signing up on this page!

JOIN MY REVOLUTION OF BLOOD AND I WILL SPARE YOU THE INDIGNITIES OF COWERING IN FEAR AS I LAY WASTE TO EVERYTHING YOU EVER KNEW AND LOVED!

Please, if you would be so kind, also write me a note about:
1) Why I should consider sparing your worthless life
2) What you can offer my coming glorious reign of nightmarish horror

The best and brightest notes will be read aloud by my first minion, The Space Quest Historian, on his insufferably twee podcast.

Sincerely yours,
CyberCedric
Your coming ruler

Who shall be spared from the hellish subjugation at the hands of CyberCedric?

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